Butter.


Who likes Seinfeld? I do. I’ve been slowly rewatching it and find that I like it even more than when it first ran in 1989… Twenty-nine years ago(!?), back when TV shows played at specific times… on a TV. They were on and then they were gone (unless recorded on a VCR). Now it’s so convenient. I can watch whenever I want, without commercials.

One day, I was watching while eating my breakfast.

–> Pause: I’m about to admit some rather controversial, personal information that may degrade my registered dietitian credentials… And, resume. <–

I was eating my breakfast while watching TV (not very mindful!) of bagel (yikes! so much carb and no protein!?) and butter (oof?)

Not just “butter,” copious amounts of butter. As much butter as my bagel could hold (uuuuuhhhh…) An amount of butter that, to look at it, would make your arms ache in sympathy for whomever milked the cows.

As Kramer came barreling through Jerry’s door about to share his latest crazy scheme or skewed world view, I chewed and wiped butter off my chin. To my delight, he had peeled the paper off a stick of butter, as if it were a banana, and was rubbing it on his face as an aftershave. Soon all the men were doing it. And they loved it. (Except Newman, who was plagued by hallucinations of Kramer as a juicy turkey.)

For years I’ve been trying to convince people that butter is not bad. Saturated fat is not bad, cholesterol is not bad. Beyond “not bad,” it is GOOD (depending on the source, of course). In order to vindicate cholesterol and saturated fat, I’ve employed scientific facts, thoughtful metaphors, image-packed power point slides, gesticulating hand gestures and samples of crispy bacon…

…But I see now that, all this time, all I really needed was a screening of Seinfeld’s Episode 1, Season 9. With the caveat, of course, to avoid using butter as a tanning lotion.

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